The Long Haul

It was 62 years ago that my parents exchanged their life long wedding vows.  They were married 60 years when my Dad passed away, just 2 years ago.   As I was thinking about my post for today, a clear topic emerged.  What makes a couple go through the long haul of 60 years of marriage together?  What is the secret of being so successful?  I considered conducting an in-depth research study but then I realized I had the best resource just a phone call away; my Mom!  So, I decided to give her a call today, which happens to be her 62nd wedding anniversary, and still a very special day in her heart.

“Mom, tell me your secrets to a successful marriage?” I asked.  This started our discussion of their lifetime of love, happiness and even the challenges that they encountered.  They were not immune to any of the issues that can face a young couple today.  My Dad fought alcoholism but became free of it with the Lord’s intervention and a 30-year commitment to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).  They survived a business bankruptcy, losing almost all of their money, along with many people they thought were their “friends.”   My Mom dealt with challenging in-laws, but eventually a mutual respect and understanding emerged.   My parents also moved many times, sometimes by choice, other times out of necessity.  Toward the end, my Mom took care of my Dad through the final 16 years of his life as he struggled with dementia and many other health issues.

Aside from all the challenges, they had 4 kids.  I am the “Little One.”  They loved boats and being near water.  They celebrated holidays with an abundance of love and joy.  My parents enjoyed being a part of each of our lives, including all 16 grandchildren.  They always had a home where all the kids liked to hang out and conversations were always free flowing.

The common denominator to discovering the secret of a successful marriage became very clear during our talk.  In their 60 years of marriage my parents always had a relationship with God.  Going to church regularly and faithfully was a priority.  Having a relationship with Jesus was the spiritual glue that bonded their lives.   It grounded our family with a foundational base that was instilled deeply within us and remains to this day.

It is clear to see their lives weren’t perfect.   They faced challenges.  They felt disappointment.  The only thing that never wavered was their faith in Jesus Christ.  Their steadfast commitment to tackling all of the challenges that came their way was anchored by their faith in God, and their commitment to one another.  It was never shaken.

Strive to make Jesus the priority in your marriage today.  Take a deep look to see how changes in this area can help strengthen your marriage.   Thirty years ago, before I was married, my husband and I were given great advice.  The directions were simple.  It was to put God first, spouse second, kids third, job fourth and hobbies fifth.  My mom would even agree, this was the balance she and my Dad used as their compass.  I, for one, plan to never waver on this.  Be focused on your faith and commit to life’s journey together for the long haul.  The joy of a happy, fulfilling, and well lived life is the reward.

Matthew 19:6 NIV “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

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